How to Have a Family Game Night That Is Actually Fun

Most Fridays, we have family game night. We’ve been doing this for over a year—ever since our toddler’s bedtime got to be too disruptive to family movie night. (We were also running out of movies to watch that were actually fun for the whole family.) My husband and I weren’t sure how it would go. Would we be able to play “real” games, or would our girls (in kindergarten and first grade at the time) limit us to “junior” versions and endless rounds of Pretty Pretty Princess?

A year later, I can confidently say that family game night is often a highlight of our week. Yes, some weeks there have been tears. We’ve played a handful of kid games that aren’t our favorites. The girls occasionally want to impose rules that are confusing at best. We have to bite our tongues at times when we can anticipate how badly a kid’s strategy is going to go awry. And the toddler sometimes wreaks havoc. But despite these challenges, most weeks family game night is fun. Here’s how we’ve made it that way.

Take Turns Picking the Game

We go in age order, with the youngest choosing “first” (at this point, it’s just a rotation). The game chooser also gets to go first. And we don’t argue with anyone’s choice. Yes, this means that we play some kid-oriented games. But we also get to practice patience and being supportive. And mom and dad get a chance to introduce the girls to new challenges along the way.

So far, we’ve only had to make one exception: Once our Disney Scene It? game became the number one pick week after week, we started to see the same questions over and over. The repetition wasn’t boring enough to overcome the lure of the screen for the kids, but it was for us. We banned it until we’ve had time to forget the questions!

Don’t Underestimate Your Kids

We’ve been pleasantly surprised by the complexity of game our kids can handle. Yes, one kid prefers collecting rainbow cars during Ticket to Ride, but she understands the concept. The other kid often goes for her favorite color when we play Splendor, but it’s paid off for her. They like Catan, Clue, and Carcassonne. Of course, any Disney game is a hit. They’ve even been able to handle more complex ones, like A Goofy Movie Game and Animated.

Try Teams to Teach Strategies

The girls occasionally want to team up with mom or dad. When possible, we let them. It’s a great way to talk through strategy and thinking ahead. We’ve even tried some team-based card games, like Spades, that went better than expected. Being on a team also gives us an opportunity to model graciousness whether we win or lose. Yes, we try to do that as individuals, but when the winning or losing is a joint effort, the kid is more invested in your reaction.

Winners Cleaners

To help take the sting out of a loss (and to reduce gloating), we have a house rule: winner cleans up. This helps keep everyone from running off and leaving a mess for mom—unless mom wins, of course. Which I often do. Obviously.

Don’t Let Them Win

I do obviously often win—but not always. We’ve never purposely let the kids win, beyond offering some occasional coaching. A few of the games we play are mostly driven by luck. No strategy in the world can save you from a poorly shuffled Uno deck. But we play a lot of strategy-based games too. And our kids have won their fair share. I think victory is a lot sweeter when they know it’s earned.

Don’t Give Up

Yes, there have been tears from losers (and occasionally from winners frustrated by the clean-up process). Sometimes, a kid doesn’t like the chosen game. Participation is optional, and we’re willing to go ahead without someone who can’t have a good attitude. They’ll have to find something else to do while the rest of us have fun. Sometimes everyone has to be patient when the toddler needs to be put to bed in the middle of the game. Every once in a while, attitudes are so bad that we cancel game night altogether. Friday nights can be tough after a long week. But we always pick back up the next night or the next weekend.

As an Enneagram One, family game night checks a lot of boxes for me. There are rules. The activity has a clear objective. And, yes, there is an opportunity to win. (I know I can’t have a Three wing, but secretly I think I might have a Three wing). My Enneagram Five husband enjoys learning about the complexities of various games (and is outstanding at trivia). It’s too soon to say what my kids’ types are. They’re just in it for the family fun. And by following these guidelines, we’ve helped make sure family game night really is fun for all of us (except maybe the toddler).

Does your family enjoy games? What are some of your favorites? Let me know in the comments!  

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